Day 71…. who’da thunk it?

Sorry I’ve been remiss in posting…. Busy couple of weeks.  This past weekend was filled with babies, babies, and more babies – our three precious granddaughters.  Wonderful, wonderful stuff.  It was also the first weekend I missed drinking, in the 10 weekends since I stopped.  I wasn’t tempted, didn’t struggle, but – BUT. There were a few moments when I thought, “Shit.  I would REALLY love a drink right about now.”  To de-stress, relax, socialize.  These were passing thoughts that zipped through my brain.  I still feel as committed to being alcohol free as I did from the beginning.  It just kind of surprised me to have these thoughts float up to the surface, unbidden. Like my brain is an 8 ball, like I used to play with when I was a kid.

8 ball, am I going to have a drink?

“All signs point to ‘no’.”

 

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2 thoughts on “Day 71…. who’da thunk it?

  1. Every child deserves a sober parent. Probably grandparent too!

    I drank to enhance the good feelings. Until I drank the value out of drinking. But, I needed to get to that point.

    I learned over time in sobriety that I also drank to avoid feeling feelings. They were subtle bad feeling. A running dialogue in my head. I never measured up. Didn’t fit in. Any success I had was written off to luck. Do something good at work…it’s what I should have been doing. Do something bad…and I’m an idiot and can’t do anything right.

    When I took a drink, I considered it destressing. Insane thinking really.

    Today, I have everything I thought a bottle got me. I accept life on life terms. It ain’t all rosey, it’s life. My children are grown, I wished for a long time that I could have a do over. I can’t! But the life I have with my kids today is better than any life I ever dreamed of. It’s real, I’m present. Life is good!

    Liked by 1 person

    • So, so true, iceman…. One of the reasons that comprised that big sticky ball of thoughts about quitting that I could not longer ‘think around’ was the horror of bobbling a baby after one too many glasses of wine. I would NEVER forgive myself. So relieved that this klutz never has to perseverate about that again! Thanks for your insight and truly, congratulations on your sobriety. It’s a gift we open every day.

      Like

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