Eleven Months Sober

Wow.  Eleven months!  This just blows me away.

And the day kind of….. sucked ass.  We had my husband’s aunt, uncle, and cousin over for dinner. Plus our kids and grandchildren and my sister-in-law.  A total of 13 people.  Not a huge crowd, but – haven’t had a big group over since New Year’s Day.

I don’t know how or where the wheels fell off the bus – but I was on the verge of tears shortly before everyone arrived, and practically ripped my poor husband’s head off and handed it to him. I just wanted to crawl out of my skin.

I was worried that there wouldn’t be enough food (jeez you think seven pounds of chicken salad would be enough for 10 adults and three little ones???)

I was freaked out that there wouldn’t be enough places to sit in the family room.

I was super DUPER annoyed with my adult son.

I wanted to scream every time my husband got “that look” on his face when I commented on anything above.

But.  And this is a BIG but – never, at any point, did I want to drink over any of it.

And today I’ll vacuum and wash the floors and get over my bad self.  And try to figure out what exactly went wrong and how to head it off at the pass next time.

But I think it’s gonna be quite a while before I take on such a large crowd again.

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Eleven Months Sober

  1. Hello….. I discovered your blog a couple of days ago. It has really resonated with me as many of the things you write about are the exact same things that I experience in my life – especially your relationship with your mother. I am not a falling down drunk – just an every day drinker who sometimes deliberately abuses the alcohol to push down the pain of whatever happens to be bothering me at the moment. I am very tired of living life this way and am finding some inspiration in your words. Maybe today will be Day 1 for me…. maybe not…. but I am going to continue to stop by and read about your experiences. I do think that eventually I will find the courage to really say – enough!! Congratulations on not drinking for eleven months….. that is quite an accomplishment 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks for commenting…. I know for me, once I made the decision to quit and said it OUT LOUD to my husband, there was no turning back. It’s honestly the best decision I’ve ever made. Have you checked out the blog, “Tired of Thinking About Drinking”? You can sign up for a 100-day challenge and it’s free! Just pledge not to drink for 100 days, and then see how you feel.

      Also, I just got a book entitled “Children of the Self-Absorbed” by Nina W. Brown. My therapist thinks mothers like ours are narcissists. Haven’t started reading it yet, but – who knew???

      Like

      • Thank you so much for the suggestions. I will check out that blog and the book sounds like it is probably right up my alley. I truly believe that my drinking behavior stems directly from my dysfunctional relationship with my mother. Even though I am 63 years old I still feel so disappointed that I cannot please her. My therapist and I are just starting to work on this now. Again thank you for responding with some helpful information.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s