Well, friends… now that I’ve got enough sober time under my belt, it’s time for me to focus on my health – mental and physical. Starting this week, it’s back to counseling. My therapist has recovered sufficiently to begin seeing me again. I have so much to catch her up on, in the four months that’s elapsed since our last chat. I feel as though I’ve been in an emotional state of stasis since I saw her in September.
And I see my primary physician early next month to discuss physical therapy for a strained left shoulder, and golfers’ elbow in my right arm. Super frustrating as I tried cold laser therapy for the elbow, which was a gigantic waste of money and time. And I love to incorporate weights in my workouts. Now I can’t even lift a 6 pound dumbbell comfortably. I used to curl 20 pounds! Ugh.
The fridge and freezer are both stocked with healthy foods: fruits and vegetables and low-fat dairy. Breakfasts and lunches are prepped and healthy dinners are planned for the week. Time to tame the sugar monster: bowls of berries and cut-up fruit will replace ice cream for evening treats. This is my year to focus on getting in the best shape of my life.
The second set of sober holidays was much, MUCH easier than the first. So much more comfortable and normal feeling. I’ve also noticed that the “drink counter” in my brain seems to have taken a hike. I no longer notice, with such glaring focus, what everyone else seems to have in their glass.
Another new experience? Handling some pretty overwhelming worry sober. One of my kids has a health issue that is almost positively minor, but I had managed to work myself into a near-frenzy over it. It cast a pall over much of my holiday break. I’m typically not a worrier and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t “talk myself off the ledge.” Until I realized that this is the first time I’ve experienced something like this without any anesthetic. I did work my way through to the other side, but – boy, howdy – it sucked scissors. But it just goes to show that we can handle the hard shit that life throws us, stone-cold sober.
And continue to grow, and learn, and evolve.