41 Months and Still Learning

I just realized it’s been a long time since I posted. Life has been moving at breakneck speed. I just wanted to share some things I’ve been thinking about.

This weekend my husband and I are going out of town for a family Bar Mitzvah. I’ve got all kinds of treats packed for the hotel room: Kcups and a clever little portable coffee maker, special creamer, fun a/f beverages, snacks…..

Almost exactly three years ago, we traveled to the same town for a family Bat Mitzvah. It was my first sober getaway and I remember still feeling like everything was almost painfully strange and new. I packed a care kit for myself that included special scented hand cream, treats for the hotel room, and ear buds so I could use a sleep meditation on my phone without disturbing my husband. I remember being at the party, where craft beers and glasses of wine were offered. The glasses of wine were so small – I wondered, if I’d still been drinking, how many of them I would have felt comfortable drinking without anyone noticing. Ugh.

Now I still notice what/how much other people drink, but I’ve realized nobody really cares what’s in my glass. Events like these are no problem whatsoever.

But here’s the thing: as I began making mental lists of what to pack, I noticed that my husband’s bottle of bourbon was running low (he likes to pack some for the hotel room). I found myself getting a little anxious that he wouldn’t have enough booze for the trip. Because I remember all too well having to make sure that there was enough wine for me when we traveled together.

Just a friendly reminder from the Universe that, yes indeedy, I had a problem, and – nope, my brain is neither healed or fixed, even after all this sober time under my belt.


The Gift of… Pie

Before I quit drinking, I never – and I mean NEVER – ate desserts. Cookie? No thanks, I’m good. Cake? Looks great, but I’m full. Brownie? Naw. Just doesn’t appeal.

Because sweets don’t really complement martinis. And I needed to save my calories for drinks, people!

But in the past eight months, I’ve indulged in so many home made treats: like chocolate chip cookies made with 4 big handfuls of corn flakes thrown in. You should try this – they’re incredible. And use butter! Not margarine – I hate that shit. Oh, and macaroons – topped with dark chocolate and covered with buttered, salted, toasted almonds. And peanut butter pie. And my new old favorite, my mother’s apple pie. I’ve eaten more pie in the last eight months than I’ve probably eaten in the past fifteen years.  There’s really nothing that I deny myself any more.

And I’m down almost ten pounds.  Without trying.  How awesome is that??!

Here’s the apple pie recipe.  If you try it, please let me know what you think!

Jane’s Apple Pie

3 Golden Delicious Apples, peeled, halved, and cored

1 Ready to bake pie crust, arranged in pie plate (I buy the ones you unroll and shape yourself)


1 stick butter, softened

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1/3 cup flour, rounded

1 tsp. vanilla

Preheat oven to 350.  Place pie crust (in pie plate) on cookie sheet.  Arrange apple halves in crust.  Cream butter and sugar.  Add egg and vanilla and mix well.  Add flour and stir to combine. Mound topping in center of pie.  Bake for 1/2 hour.  Remove from oven and shield crust with foil.  Bake for another hour, or until topping is nicely browned. Serve cold or at room temperature.

I slice it while it’s still warm but like to serve it cold.  The topping forms something like a cross between a chewy cookie and caramel.  It’s so good!