Nine Years!

It’s been an entire year since I’ve posted here – and what a year it’s been!

My life as a retiree, to a great extent, doesn’t resemble what I’d envisioned. What’s the saying? “Man plans and God laughs….”  Well. SOMEBODY’S laughing.

An average week for me (along with my wonderful, supportive, true partner and helpmate of a husband) consists of a great deal of childcare. Keep in mind that we’re forty years older now than we were when we embarked on the adventure of parenthood. And folks – we’re TIRED. We absolutely adore all our granddaughters; but at the end of the day, I’m done. Done. And I allow myself to sit on my butt and veg out while catching up on the news instead of hustling into the kitchen to figure out what to make for dinner.  That, my friends, is self-care.

I had written about the desire to find some kind of hobby to pursue, and I have. I signed up for an online watercolor course and have completed about half of it. The trick is scrounging up the energy to pick up a paintbrush at the end of the day.

My husband and I know that this time in our granddaughters’ lives is precious and fleeting. We will have our “freedom” in a couple of years, as it appears that our 6^th grandchild will be the last of the line. We plan to wring every drop of enjoyment out of the next two years.

We also take very good care of ourselves and get away for little trips as often as we can manage it. I’ve got no complaints.

Sobriety for me is like a comfortable favorite sweater: I don’t go anywhere without it. Sobriety has delivered on everything that booze promised. I have learned to care very little about what others think of me. I have learned to honor my boundaries and defend them fiercely. I’ve learned how to sit in uncomfortable feelings secure in the knowledge that they will pass. Hopefully, I’m kinder and more patient with those I love. And one of the very best gifts of sobriety is taking immense pleasure – no, joy – in the most mundane of moments.

It’s almost unbelievable that it’s been nine years since I took my last drink – and even more impossible to wrap my mind around how little I miss it.

Life is immeasurably better. My busy busy brain has stopped obsessing about alcohol. My relationships are deeper and more authentic. I have peace of mind. I’m happy and content, and most of the time, pretty damn serene.

On to year 10!